You Can Call Me Al

Moving, Move, Moved

2006-11-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

I have moved. Actually I moved quite a bit ago, I've just never published where I actually moved to:

The World in My Eyes

So... come find me and see what I've been up to.

Slack

2006-09-16T14:26:00.000-05:00

Cut me some slack for my lack of being around. I haven't decided whether I'm going to continue this site or move it to another location.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still writing. You just aren't getting the privilage of seeing it. ;-) Right now, I'm just not comfortable expressing myself here and my love for Blogger is gone. So until I find somewhere more suitable and is more of what I'm wanting, I'm gone. But I shall return shortly and I will tell you where you can find me. All 5 of you reading this.

3 Words

2006-08-29T00:44:00.000-05:00

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

~Robert Frost

Home

2006-08-24T20:27:00.000-05:00

"I'm so sick and tired of these things that drag me down.
I've got no where to go...

You give yourself away
You give and you still choke
And find yourself running for the door.

Come and take me home.
Lead me to your door.
Take me where you are...

So take this fear and fade it out
It won't make me sad
Cause I get sentimental, Lord, in other ways
And I don't want to be let down here anymore.

Just come and take me home.
Lead me to your door.
Take me where you are.
And let me in.
Just let me in.
Just let me leave this world.
Come on and let me leave this world,
At least for a while."

Dishwalla

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal in anyway. But there are days, like today, where I'm just ready to get to heaven. I'm so sick of the talking behind peoples back and just stupid stuff that goes on. I have people that, while I'm not involved in their life, mainly cause they don't want me to be, that continue to talk about me in a negative way. I've paid for my sins, I'm forgiven. Me and God are cool. He has forgiven me. Why can't you do the same?

So its on days like this where I just say "Come and take me home. Cause I don't want to lvie down here anymore."

Graduate

2006-08-22T13:04:00.000-05:00

I interrupt this 2 weeks of "Hiatus" to inform you that while it took me a few years, I finally did it - I graduated from academic probation.

I used to joke that this day would never come, that I would be stuck in sophomore year, but here I am, a bona fide junior, thrust out into the real world of homework and responsibility.

It feels nice to be off the dean's crap list. I’ve done some calculations and it looks like I can still end up with that 3.0 GPA if I ace the rest of my classes for the next two years. And then I can graduate for real and get a job anywhere I want, provided that anywhere is looking for college educated food service workers.

Yeah, things are going pretty good these days. It's only onward and upward for yours truly. I have to admit though, as much as I hated studying and going to class these last two weeks, it was worth it. For all my griping about having to read and write and talk and stuff, it really did open my eyes up to the world and I think it might have even made me a better person. I met new people, I learned the difference between Louis Armstrong and Neil Armstrong, and I actually got a calous on my finger. I think I’ve really grown as a person.

So I’m going to miss you Academic Probation. You were fun, you were exciting, you were new and interesting. You made me laugh. You made me feel. But time doesn’t stand still my friend and it’s time to move on to bigger and better things. I’ll remember the days we shared fondly and I’ll always consider these last six years the best of my life. Out I go into the unknown. A new adventure awaits. Goodbye academic probation, hello Junior year!

Hiatus

2006-08-11T17:47:00.000-05:00

My computer died. Be back sometime... after 2 weeks.

**Update 8/22**

Expect a new look and just a general overhaul come 8/28. See ya then.

Hairy Situations

2006-08-01T11:20:00.000-05:00

I was looking over some Spring Break pictures today and I cringed at my horrible excuse for a beard. See, I can't grow a beard.

Maybe you can relate. This just may be the case if you're a woman. But, just maybe you're like me - dude in the world of hairy dudes that can't grow a full beard.

But to tell you the truth, I don't want a beard. It makes me look to much like my father. But I do however want the option to grow a beard. Because I, like prolly every other man whether he wants a beard or not, loves the idea that if I get stranded on a deserted island for a number of years that when they come to pick me up I'll emerge from the brush with this mondo, motherloving beard. One so big that animals will fear me.

But not in my case. I'd come out of the bush all hairy in patches on my face. They'd take one look at me and leave.

I Bet I Can Out-Complain You.

2006-07-25T23:23:00.000-05:00

So when you were a little kid, and after a long day of school, your mom asked you how your day was, what did you say? I'm sure you were like me and got tremendously excited and blabbed about how well you did on your spelling test (spelling was always a strong suit of mine back then) and how your teacher says you're the one of the best reader in the class (reading too.). Then you'd talk about how you were picked first in gym class (not me) and how you didn't color outside of the lines in art class (not me either). Man, you sure were a happy kid.

If someone asked you how it was going today, you'd prolly be able to rattle off about ten things that "totally sucked".

A little negative, aren't we? Well, we're not alone.

It seems to me, people my age (being the ages of 18-25) love to complain. Almost every conversation we have it seems that we'll sneak in this comment, "man, you do not even want to hear about my day..."

And to tell you the truth, no, they prolly don't. But we tell them anyway because it seems without complaining, what do we have? Not much of a conversation thats for sure.

I mean, seriously, when in a conversation with another twentysomething are we vying for the title of "World's Crappiest Life"?

Yeah, yeah, I know you've had to work this many hours of unpaid overtime. I know your apartment in ridiculously small. I heard that Ramen noodles weren't so good by the time 7th time you've had them in a week. I feel ya, I don't have much in my checking account either. Ha, you don't have much in your savings account!? What's that?

And yes, I'll give us the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is a way for us to relate to one another. Because I'm just as guilty as you. But from my observations of old people, its like this for the rest of your life. Real old people, like in their forties and fifties, ya know, your parents' ages, talk about joint pain, high cost of living, inflation, social security disappearing, stupid politicians, blah blah blah. Then by the time you retire you moaning about getting that social security. Its freakin free money from the government!!

I'm going to lay it out on the line right now. I live a relatively comfortable life. I like my job when my fellow employees show up and do their jobs correctly, I love my friends and family, I make enough to get by and I'm pretty much free of serious medical condtions except for a little ADD and a horrendous short-term memory. But if I'm talking to someone I'd tell them I work like a madman, have far fewer friends than I used to, could really use some extra cash, and have chronic migraines which, though not as serious as, say, cancer, are very annoying. I'd tell you I live in a tiny house where I pay this exorbitant rent. And how school is kicking my tail. And why would I tell you all these things? Because I want you to feel bad for me.

And what would you do?

Well you'd just come right back at me with a laundry list of complaints far more serious than mine.

But why do we do it? Why do we try to portray ourselves as losers? Is it because we were taught not to brag, to be a gracious winner, to be humble and all that other crap?

Like I normally do, I'm using a fellow employee as an example. It seems that they are the people I'm around the most because I work all the freaking time like a madman to pay the exorbitant rent on this little tincup house I live in.

See?!?! There I go again.

Dang. Where was I? Right. Complaining co-worker.

I work with a person who complains ALL the freakin time. So I made it a rule to come up with a complaint every time they had one. Except mine would be bigger and better. It's the American way right?

They'd say they spent $50 on gas. I'd say at least you had enough for a full tank. They'd say they're getting a divorce from their spouse. Whoa, umm... my dog pooped in the kitchen? They'd say they weren't invited to their own son's wedding. Wow, that sucks, but... uh.... I didn't have enough money to buy that new cd. Crap.

This complaining game got so bad that when they had an actual problem, I felt bad for myself because I couldn't top that kind of complaint. And, what's worse, is did I want to outdo this person to make them feel better or just so I could win? Prolly the latter.

So what am I suggesting we do about all this complaining, all this negativity?

Well, actually, I'm not suggesting we do anything about it. I'm pretty sure we will always try to out-complain each other.

Oh well. But really, I gotta go. My bills are piling up, along with my homework. My dog needs a bath and some heartworm medicine. I'm overweight. And I've been eating hot dogs for dinner every night this week and I think I have poor circulation.

How Stereotypical of Me

2006-07-21T15:19:00.000-05:00

Hi, there, Al here. I'm here today to inform you that I am the stereotypical male college student. See, the reason for this is because like every other male college student in the nation, I eat pizza and get drunk every night. Because I'm the stereotypical male college student.

See, I have no goals or ambitions for the future. It just doesn't matter to me. That's why I rarely go to class, especially if its before 12, because I rarely wake-up before then since I was up all night drinking beer and smoking cannabis.

Okay, so I lied. I was actually up late because I was on Ebay trying to buy some sweet rims for my hoopty import so that I can be apart of the Fast and the Furious generation. And if I do go to class, I don't pay attention because I am still of the high school mentality that not trying is cool.

Alcohol. Did you say alcohol? If there's one thing I love, its any and every type of alcohol. But the more, the better obviously. I like to find any and every excuse to leave this horrible existance that I call life and get into a drunken stupor. And from those drunken stupors, I probably have at least 1 or 2 street signs that I've stolen. Basically I'm a good for nothing hooligan.

I also like to pop my collar. You know, anything and everything that will make me seem "cooler". I really love wearing my "Cocks" hat even though I don't go to USC or even know where it is or what a gamecock is.

I love Coldplay and Jack Johnson, even though I don't actually like listening to either, but I do because everyone else does. Oh well, at least I can go to their mad shows. Oh, and I like putting "mad" in front of any word to show the extent of its coolness. Another example would be, "my checking account is filled with some mad bank!"

Oh, and thats another thing. Its filled with "mad bank" because I don't actually pay for my tuition, much less anything else. I live close enough to my parents so I can usually go there when I need some cash or for my mom to do my laundry. Yeah, why do laundry when my mother can do it for me? Who cares if I'm 23? When they aren't around, I'll take it to the dry cleaner.

Yeah, so my lack of general knowledge is apparent. Simple hygiene - I don't bother. An expiration date on food is a foreign concept. Speaking of foreign - any type of other culture is ignored.

Yeah, I'm in a frat. It doesn't matter to me that my parents are paying for my friends. We'll be friends for life, man. And big deal that my frat enjoys hazing incoming freshman by making them screw a goat before we finally gain any respect for them. Did you ever see Animal House or Old School? Its a well know fact that those weren't entertaining movies, but true to life documentaries.

All in all, me, the stereotypical college male, offers nothing to society. Wait! I suppose if I wake up before they close, I could take in my beer cans to get recycled. Man, I love beer!

Humility

2006-07-20T00:45:00.000-05:00

It is my humble opinion that all men, regardless of race, creed, or sexual orientation are scumbags.

I say this humbly.

Actually, I'm prolly one of the most humble guys you'll ever meet. I practically invented humility. If humility were a rockband, you'd be calling me U2. Or better yet, if it were a boxer, you'd call me ALi. Hehe. Cause I am the greatest at humility. I also float like a butterfly, sting like a misquito bite.

But I suppose by me saying that, that makes me cocky instead of humble. Crap.

Oh well.

Like I said, that’s just my humble opinion. It’s not like I’m always right or anything.

Real Gone

2006-07-14T13:27:00.000-05:00

So I learned some stuff today. Yep, I've got some new wrinkles.

First thing is that Tom Waits, prolly one of the most obscure, unusual, avant-garde guys that I listen to, obviously isn't so obscure, unusual or avant-garde because his concert sold out in like 2 minutes. Those tickets were fo' real gone, fo' real fast.

So, having stared into the face of defeat, otherwise known as Ticketmaster, I begrudgingly made my way over to Ebay.

400 bucks for 2 tickets?!?!?!

This is where I learned the second thing about myself today.

That despite overwhelming evidence to the contray, I do have a limit on how much I want to spend on overly priced goods. So maybe that means that somewhere deep down inside of me, there is some measure of fiscal responsibility. But more than likely, it just means that I'm getting penny-pinchy in my crotchedy old age.

Tom Waits for No Man

2006-07-14T11:51:00.000-05:00

He sure didn't wait for me. I got bummed out of tickets for the Nashville show. Sold out in 2 minutes.

Goin' Out West

Hold On

I'm Still Here

One Headlight

2006-07-04T15:01:00.000-05:00

"She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed"

Faster Kill Faster Pussycat

2006-07-02T15:09:00.000-05:00

I was driving home from church today when another car came speeding up behind me, fast. We were on a large street. 4 lanes to be exact. 2 in each direction and stop lights every so often. And traffic was pretty light for it to be around lunch time.

I was cruising and listening to music - Paul Oakenfold I believe. Nothing out of the ordinary. But soon to be. I look in my rear view mirrow and see this object "flying" and gaining ground on me quickly. I stop at a red light as this guy comes barreling towards me. A few dozen yards behind my car, he gunned the motor to outrace a car in the next lane, swerved suddenly around him, and pulled up beside me at the light. Then, while the light is green, keeps inching forward, like he wants to pull in front of me and get in my lane when the light turned green.

At this point in our little story is where I tell you that normally I'm not that of an aggressive driver. Well, I should say that is true when I have other people in the car with me. But when I'm by myself it could possibly be a different story. I mean, you got to have a bit of bravado while driving the streets of Bowling Green. If not, you'll get eat up and pooped out a tailpipe.

But this little punk's overzealous, near-miss attitude was just un-called for. It's one thing to be aggressive; its another to be reckless.

And it really pisses me off.

So of course I start inching forward myself. There was no way I was going to let "Speed-Racer" over there try and get in front of me.

So I look over to see who I'm dealing with here. And as soon as my eyes gaze upon this P.O.S. car that is to the left of me, I start laughing immediately. And let me also say that my car is by no means a hot rod, import, or sports car. Its a flippin Cavalier. I know my limits, they aren't much, trust me.

But this guy couldn't be serious. This thing was a bona-fide, rusted out, hood-dented, bumper missing, halfpainted half rust crap hole. One hupcap, a garbage bag over the back passenger window and wash me written in the years of filth on the passenger door.

Instead of laughing, it was no wonder that I didn't turn off my car, get out and stand there and point and laugh. Maybe even rolling around on the ground for a bit. Heck, I should have encouraged the other cars behind me to do so.

But it was this rust-bucket that changed everything. It was at this point where I realized that Joe-Schmo over here had nothing to lose. I mean, he was driving a 70-80 something Toyota that had one hupcap, an oil-change away from the junkyard and if he was lucky a cassette player to go along with this waste of metal. How much worse could his life get, really, if he ran my self-righteous butt into the ditch?

I'm thinking "none" would be the correct answer there and I make it a rule not to mess with people in general, but deffinantly people who have nothing to lose. Anyone willing to risk their own life by pushing a thirty-year-old engine that hard on a public street is clearly a camshaft short of a carburetor already. Am I gonna be the one who pushes him to 'postal'? With my insurance premiums?

So our light turned green, and I had a choice. Let this terd-burgular have his way and cut in front, or put some pedal to the metal and keep pace with him.

I chose the former.

I'm Just a Man

2006-06-26T16:12:00.000-05:00

I have come to a realization today. I have a problem. And that problem is the fact that I'm a man. Man, boy, annoying terd burgular - whatever.

But please forgive me because it's really a condition that I have no control over, unless I want to spend a lot of money and suffer through some pain and loss.

See, the thing is, me being a man is kinda something I was born with. And it means, among other things, that it is genetically impossible for me to ask for help. You can look it up all you want. It's in all the best encyclopedias and tabloids.

Under the Sun

2006-06-22T00:52:00.000-05:00

I knew that summer was here when a rather well-endowed lady in tank top about 2 sizes to small came strolling into the pharmacy today. Her shirt read "Fresh Melons" and she asked where the Aloe Vera and sunscreen were.

Black Swan

2006-06-21T23:34:00.000-05:00

"What will grow crooked, you can't make straight
It's the price that you gotta pay
Do yourself and pack your bags
Buy a ticket and get on the train

Cause this is ****** up.

People get crushed like biscuit crumbs
And laid down in the bitumen
You have tried your best to please everyone
But it's just not happening

And it's ****** up.

You cannot kick start a dead horse
You just crush yourself and walk away
I don't care what the future holds
Cause I'm right here and I'm today

You are ****** up
This is ****** up

Be your black swan
I'm for spare parts, broken up."

Thom Yorke ~ Black Swan

Ever lose something that you care for so much and realize that there is nothing you can do about it? But then again, this thing that you lost, it kinda makes you happy - creates this excitement for a new thing to take its place. I suppose the real question is do you love this thing enough to fight for it, or go with your gut and let it go and create something new and better?

A Return to Love

2006-06-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- marianne williamson

Sabatical

2006-06-17T20:59:00.000-05:00

I've taken myself a mini-vacation from YCCMA (You Can Call Me Al). Actually, I've just been preoccupied exploring the more hands-on artsy fartsy side of me. But I'll be back shortly.

Happiness

2006-06-10T14:05:00.000-05:00

"Congratulation, oh baby I'm back again
I'm loaded down with my God and my medicine.

I know wisdom is change
So why can't you function that way?

Here I am flaunting my self control
'Cause happiness is more than a kiss you know.

I'm activating all your promises once again
And pushing forth with the rage of my reverence.

We could close our eyes
And recklessly run through
And space and time we choose."

Little Things

2006-06-09T15:32:00.000-05:00

If I'm ever asked to move out by the owner of the house I live in or divorced by a future wife it'll be because of soap.

Or I suppose the lack thereof more precisely.

And no, it won't because I don't use it, no. Any kind of dirty that I have is in my head. And thats only on occasion. Oh hush, you know you do too. I'm only admitting it. So don't you go be painting a scarlet D on me.

Otherwise, I'm squeaky clean. Honest. I even floss between my toes.

But yeah, those little things. You know, those little daily annoyances and quirks and borderline personality disorders that drive the people you live with crazy.

And see, I suppose that's where my little soap thing comes in.

I have such a mental block when it comes to soap in the shower. Whenever I'm at the last of the soap, I am always, constantly, predicatbly failing to replace said soap. Everytime. I'll be in the shower, using the last of the Irish Spring, and I'll make a mental note: "Replace the soap." 5 to 10 minutes later, its gone. Completely. Shut the water off - nothing. Towel myself down - still forgotten. Shave, dress, brush my teeth - absolutely nothing.

Then of course the next person comes along, jumps in the shower, gets ready to lather down only to have to get back out, drippy wet, to get a stinking bar of soap.

I'm surprised I haven't been beaten with a pillowcase full of Irish Spring.

Keep Your Mouth Shut

2006-06-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you are in deep water.

Stupid Words

2006-06-06T12:32:00.000-05:00

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

The Dysentery Tango

2006-06-01T20:32:00.000-05:00

So I've been kinda sick-to-my stomach for the past couple of days. Nothing serious - but last night things took a turn for the worse.

By worse, I really mean gross. But I'll be sure and do my best to offend as many people as possible.

Anywho, so last night I was a snoozing blissfully away in my too much grease from CiCi's and TGI Fridays haze, when I was awakened by a stomach ache. At first I thought nothing of it, no biggie, I'll go drink some water. No sireee, this sucker was a real gurgler.

At this point, I had felt nothing but a little stomach ache of the garden-variety. And like I said, I figured it was from where I had eaten. CiCi's and nachos from TGI Fridays aren't exactly what I would call "health food". But yeah, the stomach ache, it's kind of pedestrian as sicknesses go, really. But boy-o-boy that changed quickly.

By the time I realized I wouldn't be able to ride the churning crisis out til morning, I begrudgingly got up and made my way to the bathroom. On the way I stumped my toe on the door-frame. Ouch. And not just any toe, the most vulnerable one there is. The pinkie. I also heard my roommate and the dog snoring through the door of their room. Ha.

So I reached the bathroom - Star Trek book in hand - safe and somewhat soundly. This was going to take a while.

Now, is the point in our one-sided conversation where I go into the graphic and unbecoming details. But I'll resist that temptation and say that the next however many minutes were unpleasant in a number of ways. I felt like Harry in Dumb & Dumber. You know the scene where he as gone to pick up the Samsonite girl and Lloyd has slipped him some laxative and it just unleashes in the broken toilet. Luckily, the toilet wasn't broken, I wasn't picking up a girl, and in some stranger's house. I don't #2 anywhere else but home. Long story. Let's just say it has to do with a secure factor. End of topic.

But yeah, over the half hour I had no idea what was happening, there was noises I'd never heard before, and by the end, there was toilet paper everywhere.

RBC. Enough said. Funny I should mention that though. Because I explained what it was to a group of my friends earlier that night after leaving TGI Fridays. I was telling them what I had had to eat that day and one of the girls said that my butthole was going to hurt. She was right. Maybe we should go into business together for one of those psychic lines cause she hit that sucker right on the nose.

So the smoke finally cleared and I gathered myself and went back to bed. I had no idea what time it was, or how long I had been in there so I looked at the clock in my room. Now, around this time I'm normally sound asleep. And just on a guess, this is around the time that I think my other roommate gets up and heads out to work/class. Just a guess though. Like I said, I'm blissfully unaware.

But I say all that to say this - my roommate normally showers in the morning. Showers in the bathroom that I just vacated. The one that when I vacated was in a sad, smelly, and subpar state.

I think he uses Coast. And Coast is supposed to wake you up in the morning. But I have a feeling that if he hit that bathroom within at least 30 minutes of when I departed it, it wasn't the Coast that wake him up.

But, what could I do? I was weakened by my ilness and exhausted by the train that just plowed through my colon. So if there was any type of verbal reaction, I didn't hear it.

Luckily this bout with dysentery has subsided and I'm currently holding at 12 hours without a #2.

No more CiCi's and TGI Fridays in the same day for moi.

A Better Place

2006-05-30T10:35:00.000-05:00

"Days, how many days
Do I have until
I am set free?

To a better place
A place of love
A place of no tomorrows

Release me from this need I have of me

Hours, how many hours
Do I have until
I am set free?

To a better place
A place of love
A place of no misery

Release me from this need I have of me

When will you believe
When I say these things to you?
No one like a liar baby
No one at all.

I guess I have something to look forward to."

~VAST

Ch-Ch-Changes

2006-05-27T12:33:00.000-05:00

I love change. You know, underwear, socks, oil. Change is normally a good thing. Even a sex change if thats how you roll. Which is fine. Me here at You Can Call Me Al wholeheartedly accept and condone your weirdness. Really, I do. I'm trying to be sincere.

Anyway, college students deal with change more than any other demographic.

How so? I don't know. It's called a segue. Sue me.

No college student faces change quite like when its time to produce a new screen name. I'm debating on whether I want to change mine. See, when in like sometime around 2003 when I gots clever and came up with adh1542, I think I used the wrong stuff to determine the name. Oops.

Now I feel the time is ripe for a new screen name. But see, what should it be? The name. This isn't as easy as it sounds. Some people use nicknames. Some people go ghetto. Why on earth would you want to be know as GhettoPimp420? Tell me that much. Nothing of value there. I must stick with a knickname. Even if the knickname is D-bag. I'd almost bet Douchebag23 isn't taken.

But then there is the bloomin AOL. Even if I do finally pick out a name that I do like, I've got to go toe-to-type with the AOL Big Brother Nazi Naming Machine. Because of course the one I pick will be taken. I'll go ahead and just save myself the suspense. But they'll be sure and give me some lovely alternatives that make perfect sense. For instance, my current screen name, adh1542, would prolly be something like adh15423985qe8. And with name like that, maybe then I would be cool.

Step 3 is of course the Buddy List. 'Cause you ain't nothing without some buddies. I suppose I should just email every single one and tell them of the change. Because everyone will want to know because I'm like the greatest person they've ever met. Or I could just leave an away message warning everyone of the last days of adh1542 and that I'll soon be know under a different alias. Of course, I'm lazy, so I'll prolly won't bother adjusting the list and just wait for the problem to present itself. That's kinda how the war in Iraq is run. Of course I guess I could just IM the 4 ppl, incl. my mom, on my BL and give them the 411, then choke on abbreviations because I'm a lazy turd.

Step 4: I am the Lord your God, and you shall have no other gods before. Ok, so thats a commandment, but its just good sense. Jesus Rocks!

Then I suppose I'll just have to get on with my new life. It won't be easy. I may have to make new friends. I'll have to remember my screen name and my password. Ugh. Maybe I'll just keep the one I got. Did I mention I was lazy?

Rebuttle

2006-05-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

While I don't feel that I have to validify my feelings/writings to anyone, I will do so just to prove my point. I wrote the other day about a person I work with and some things going on in his life. And I will admit that they way I wrote about this person made it sound like I was looking down on him. And I apologize for that because I wasn't. I was just using him as an example.

I will say that while I wasn't looking down upon him because of where he is in his life, but I am writing about how I don't agree and don't want to be how he is when it comes to what he is doing with his life situation. Which is nothing. He is stagnant.

And I don't want it to come across that I'm downing this guy's ambitions. I'm just stating the facts about this guy's life and the fact and that he doesn't have any. Ambitions thats is.

Yes, I do know for a fact that he is that much in debt. And yes it was spent on school (of which the majority he failed), 300-400 dollar cell phone bills, and yes, alcohol/partying. I know this because I work with him everyday. I come in and work for him when he's hungover. He tells not only me, but the people I work with these things.

His life consists of worrying about bills, how he's going to pay for this and that, whether or not the cops will be at his house tonight because of a party, if his boss will notice that he's still hungover and reeks of alcohol, or if he'll ever find that love that he's been waiting for that will make him change his ways.

Yes, I do love the guy. Please don't get the impression that I don't. I've actually gone out of my way and helped him plan out everything he needs to do get his license, registration, and insurance back, along with his re-certification for his job. I want him to get back on his feet. I'll do anything within my power to help him. But I'm not going to spoon-feed him. He has to have some motivation to do it for himself. And as of right now, he doesn't have any.

And like I kinda said before, who am I to judge? And I'm not trying to. I was just stating facts about a certain person.

But I guess it boils down to this quote from Anna Nalick -

"Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want."

It's Always Someone Else's Fault

2006-05-21T16:35:00.000-05:00

So occasionally I don't think so highly of myself. Different reasons for feeling this way, but sometimes its cause I hear the "How long you going to be in school?", "I was married with kids when I was your age" talk. But lately, that seems to be said to me at least 2 or 3 times a day. So it doesn't really bother me as much anymore. But on occasion when it does, as is the case today, I always think of these 2 certain people, and I always feel better about myself.

These people I call bags filled with vinegar and water. Douche-bags in other words.

Today, I will talk of only one of these bags. And this once certain example of humanity is a piece of work. First off, let me just say, the whole world is against him. Where he is currently at in life has nothing to do with his own actions, its always someone or something that is against him.

Let me just start off by saying that this person is a couple years older than me. Lives with a relative where he pays no bills. Not graduated and not taking classes. 25-30 THOUSAND dollars in debt and has the mentality that he doesn't care what they say, he's paid it. I don't think he grasps the concept of interest. Has no license. No insurance. And car tags are expired. And all of this has been this way for a couple of years now. Has let his certification for his job expire, so therefore the amount he gets paid hourly is getting ready to be dropped 3 or 4 dollars an hour. Ouch indeed. But he may not have to worry about that job because he tends to show up for work hungover or still drunk from the night before on a semi-regular basis.

But the world is against him. Remember that. His actions and what he spends his money on, and whether or not he goes to class has nothing to him. Its always someone elses fault.

Ok, frustrations vented.

Am I Right?

2006-05-16T16:27:00.000-05:00

Let none of you reading this here blog have any qualms with disagreeing with me...lest you start having me believe that I'm occasionally right.

What I say here or elsewhere, however grounded it may seem or what foundations that its laid upon, is still more than likely just my belief. It is no more and no less than a belief, and opinion. And as such is no more or less valid that anybody elses.

And I may even go out and be crazy and argue devil's advocate, against my own beliefs, simply for the sake of drawing out reasons.

I'm not necessarily right. Frequently quite the contrary.

Poor, poor P.

2006-05-13T16:53:00.000-05:00

One of my friends came into work today. I guess he was just running around town, goofing off. It's what we do best.

Anywho, I asked him why he was so gloomy today and he said something along the line of this: "I am a little pawn in a game of chess. They give me a false sense of success by moving me right at the beginning, but then rarely do I get to decided the outcome of the game. There are too many of them like me. I can't go back once I have made a move forwards and I can't even jump over someone to move ahead."

I think he's upset with work.

Statistics

2006-05-10T12:26:00.000-05:00

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.

Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it is you.

Don't Change

2006-05-08T18:21:00.000-05:00

"I'm standing here, on the ground.
The sky above won't fall down.
See no evil in all direction.
Resolution of happiness.
Things have been dark for too long.

Don't change for you.
Don't change a thing, for me.

I found a love that I thought had lost.
It was gone for too long.
Hear no evil in all directions
Execution of bitterness
Message recieved loud and clear.

Don't change for you.
Don't change a thing, for me."

~INXS

As of late people have asked me why I put some lyrics up. Or they ask what they mean to me. Well, here ya go: when I read the lyrics to this song. I feel like the song is about accepting the things that happen in life. Accepting that change is a part of life. I see the verses as someone speaking in first person.

First Verse:
I'm standing here on the ground,
The sky above won't fall down
See no evil in all direction
Resolution of happiness
Things have been dark
For too long

To me this seems like they are saying..that they are coming to a realization in life. Both feet on the ground, no matter what happens the sky won't fall..as in things won't crash down. Seeing no evil meaning..feeling this way is a good feeling. Resolution of happiness..as in coming to terms with something in life and making peace with it. Things have been dark for too long..Coming out of the sadness into the light.

Second Verse:
I found a love I had lost
It was gone for too long
Hear no evil in all directions
Execution of bitterness
Message received loud and clear

This seems like they are finding the love inside themselves that had been missing. Execution of bitterness..meaning cutting away any feelings of sorrow or anger.

Chorus:
Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me

I see this as someone else talking in the song..it's like the verses are one person speaking to themselves about life and the chorus is someone answering..saying don't change who you are inside and the second line..Don't change a thing for me..is them saying don't change for them because they love them how they are...I also read it as maybe someone saying not to try and change the past but to accept it..that whatever happens is ok..when someone love's you this is truly how they feel.That's why the line..Message received loud and clear to me seems like they are speaking to someone else and receiving these feelings back...the answer being..Don't Change..Don't Change because of life..the loss, sadness, love, friendship, it's all part of life. Find the love inside yourself and don't feel bitter.

Little Bear

2006-05-08T13:33:00.000-05:00

Anything not nailed down is a chew toy.

But All You Ever Do is Bring Me Down

2006-05-05T12:57:00.000-05:00

Does every single person that knows me have to always bring up my faults, my wrongdoings, and things that I've done stupid?

I know I've messed up. I know I've done stupid things. I prolly will still continue to do other stupid things. But some things I don't want to be public knowledge. And its not that I'm such a horrible person and I don't want people know the things I do/did. Its that I don't want them to know because some people don't need any more of an excuse to gossip than they already do. And its absolutely none of their business. But yet, you insist on letting everyone you come into contact with know. And if they already know about it, you feel the need to reiterate my faults. Why in the world do you have to continue to bring up things and rub it in my face?!? Why?

Does it make you feel better about yourself to tell everyone of someone else's wrongdoings? Do you feel better sitting up on your little pedestal looking down upon the lowly sinner?

I hate to burst your bubble, but your in the same boat as I.

And not only does all this make me feel horrible, it pisses me off to no end.

Have you ever heard of lifting a person up? Isn't that what we are called to do as Christians to one another?

"But all you ever do is bring me down." ~Fuel

I've Learned

2006-05-04T19:48:00.000-05:00

"I've learned that things change, people change and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up. It means accepting that things were not meant to be. You don't ever stop loving someone. If you do.....You probably never loved them. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. TAKE CHANCES! Life is no fun without them. If you screw up at least you learned something..."

A Clean Desk

2006-05-04T15:31:00.000-05:00

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Weekend @ Work

2006-04-30T14:34:00.000-05:00

This job is a test. Had this been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions and other signs of appreciation.

A Crapella

2006-04-26T14:32:00.000-05:00

So I do believe that I'm developing a cold, strep throat or it could be that my throat hasn't recovered from Saturday when I blew it out singing along to INXS!

My tonsils are freakin huge! Well, not tonsils with an s, but tonsil. The right one to be exact.

I am finding that there is an upside to this cold/condition that I have. I can hit those low notes on that "Best of Barry White" cd that your mom gave me a couple of weeks ago. Well, maybe not hit, per say, but it sounds much more realistic.

But before we aruge that, let me just say that most of the time I can sing fairly well. I'm no Tom Waits by any means, but I can swoon the girls if necessary. I don't, however, have any native musical talent. I can't play an instrument. Or at least make it sound like the musical instrument that its supposed to. I can't read music. I couldn't tell you the differences between an A and a Q. I suppose, however that I can carry somewhat of a tune in maybe a reinforced metal bucket. Have I mentioned that I'm the lead singer in a band? And before you ask, no we don't have a name. And to tell you the truth we haven't practiced in a while. Stinkin tornado messed up our garage.

But see, when I do sing, at least one of these conditions are met:
1. I'm alone in my vehicle.
b. The windows are shut (does not include sun-roof) to protect innocent victims and
c. The music is so mo'-fuggin' cranked up that I can't hear myself think.

2. I'm at church. I like to sing to the "Big-Guy" upstairs.

3. I'm completely comfortable with you and don't mind making a fool of meself.

4. I want to hear random, far away dogs howl in pain.

Time to go gargle with some Listerine. Until next time.

Caution: Wet Paint

2006-04-24T17:23:00.000-05:00

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it to be sure?

Grumpy Old Men

2006-04-23T23:40:00.000-05:00

"I may not know one damn thing, but I do know this: The only regrets in life are the risks you didn't take. And if you see a chance to be happy, grab onto it with both hands, and say to hell with the consequences"

Thoughts of the Week

2006-04-22T13:39:00.000-05:00

-Are you sure its only been 3 weeks?

-"Big Brother" is watching.

-If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

-"Never iron clothes in your underwear, you could get some nasty burns."

Humor and Irritation

2006-04-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

How is it that some people can bring out two totally different feelings at the same time?

But you get the same answer for this question as well: Why is that people feel like they can stand up on their little soap-box, look down upon you and condemn you, give advice that they know nothing about and make you out to be something that you aren't?

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." -Mother Teresa

When I Say...

2006-04-17T11:15:00.000-05:00

"When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow"

If only some people would realize that.

Curazy

2006-04-14T12:38:00.000-05:00

Is is just me or are the number of crazy public that venture out in public higher than what it used to be? And not like in the "oh, would you look at that girl and what she's wearing" type of crazy, but flat-out tin-foil hat kind of crazy. Yeah, because that makes so much sense. The people that once amused me with their maniacal laughter and lack of bladder control are now growing by number and it scares me.

Yeah, I suppose I should watch what I say. The word "crazy" isn't exactly politically correct. And if you saw the number of people that take medication for mental illness where I work you would think that its not a big deal either. And I try to be as PC as the next guy. I know people don't try to be crazy, but I have to think that they could funnel that extra energy into maybe saving the world or curing cancer or something.

I'm Not Your Baby

2006-04-12T00:53:00.000-05:00

"Don't treat me like I'm a trick
I won't treat you like you're a prick.
Don't need no doctor, I'm not sick.
I'm not your baby.
Everything is alright."

Until the End of the World

2006-04-11T12:06:00.000-05:00

So I was jamming to some U2 on the way to work this morning, which is nothing out of the ordinary. But as I rocked out to Achtung Baby, my favorite song came on - Until the End of the World.

I guess cause I've read and have been thinking on this new book about the Gospel of Judas, a supposedly recent discovery that portrays Judas in an entirely different light, and then theres Easter coming up and everything, so it seems timely to look at another pop-culture reflection on Jesus' suffering and life.

But this time, let's channel Judas:

"Haven't seen you in quite a while/ I was down the hold, just passing time./ Last time we met it was a low-lit room./ We were as close together as a bride and groom./ We at the food, we drank the wine./ Everybody having a good time./ Except you./ You were talking about the end of the world."

Could you imagine what you might feel at the possibility of being at the scene of the Last Supper. And maybe not even there, but from a distance. The song is about a person who has drifted away, who is "down in the hold, just passing time." You could take that to mean yourself or even the song's narrator, Judas.

Think about it though. What would it have been like back then as Jesus faced His final, anguished hours? I think that is one of the reasons why The Passion was/is such a success and caused such a stir. What would we do if you were to see this unfolding before your very own eyes? We'd like to think that we'd do things differently. But I doubt it. And so does the song. The movie was intended to show that Jesus suffered for the sins of all, even Judas.

"I took the money, I spiked your drink./ You miss too much these days if you stop to think. / You led me on with those innocent eyes. /And you know I love the element of surprise. /In the garden I was playing the tart. /I kissed your lips and brok your heart. / You, you were acting like it was the end of the world."

Judas wasn't the only one to sell out, to falter, to betray a loved one, to sin. We all do. Thoughtless choices lead to tragedy.

The heart of Jesus was "acting like it was the end of the world."

It isn't about the human reality of suffering, but rather the divine, Jesus and His ability to endure, persevere and triumph. His uncondtional love. Jesus suffered the weight of our sin, betrayal and anguish because to avoid this would go contrary to His being. Stepping away from what He was sent to do would have been a denial of God's uncoditional love of us.

"In my dream I was drowning my sorrows/ But my sorrows they learned to swim./ Surrounding me, going down on me/ Spilling over the brim./ In waves of regret, waves of joy/ I reached out for the one I tried to destroy./ You, you said you’d wait until the end of the world."

And with that final verse its the embracing glory of the Resurrection — a life after death, a love always waiting. A love that will wait for you "until the end of the world."

Too Good to Be True

2006-04-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, so its been quite a number of days since the last update. I apologize for that. Due to the lack of internet, lack of time, a change of residence thrown in there and my free time being spent doing other things I doubt I'll be around here very much for a little bit. Or at least until I get some internet on the 'puter.

Anywho, here I am.

Too good to be true. I've heard that phrase alot lately and so I've been pondering on those times in my life where I've used it. Many times those moments turned out to be too good to be true. But there are those times where it was just too good. ;-)

But those moments where later on it turns out that after you obsess and think over it that it turns out it wasn't or that just maybe its just so awesome it doesn't seem real, but in reality it is. (whoa, run-on sentence). Nonetheless, isn't that feeling of euphoria you get so cool?

Well at least until the pit hits the shan and the entire dream comes down on your head like a thousand bolts of hail being thrust to the earth.

And then (back to the reliving and obsessing over every detail), you go back and think "What I wouldn't have given to feel ignorant again... to feel that euphoria and dumb... to believe in something so far-fetched and so out of reach that my feet actually seemed to break free of gravity just slighty, and I had that little spring in my step as some would say."

This is what happens. I've seen it a million times over. How? Because I'm a lotto addict. Every time I buy the ticket I rise like a shooting star being chased by some sort of intergalactic highway patrol and then fall like soooo many left-footed ice-skaters.*

*That last paragraph is the ultimate example of my amazing power to break up any slightly serious post with pure drivel.

Refresh

2006-04-04T00:46:00.000-05:00

Go ahead and hit your refresh button. It's not going to change anything. But maybe it will give you the satifaction of knowing that you are at the right place. Don't let your eyes decieve you, you are.

With so many different things that have changed for me in the past, let's just say, 6 months, much less the last 2 weeks (I'll maybe explain later), I figured it was time to give the blog an overhaul - a spring cleaning of sorts.

So, here we are. I'm not totally finished, but this is the summation of some tinkering, cursing, and tedious work over the past couple of days. But the picture and title are still a work in progress. So there may still be some changes yet.

I'll be back tomorrow, but until then I must pack (moving, again, I'll explain later) and get some sleep.

Butterflies

2006-04-02T08:25:00.000-05:00

"Baby something is happening here
Though its not perfectly clear, I like it
Baby, my heart and brain can't agree
On the status between you and me
And where we're standing

And I can't tell you what it is, but
It's the best thing that I found, yeah
The butterflies in my stomach
And my feet off the ground."

~Dave Barnes

Talk to Me

2006-03-31T09:55:00.000-06:00

It's weird but sometimes I think that I am a better talker, much more effective online than I am in person.

Yeah, I know that sounds weird, but hear me out.

I listen better online. My ADD doesn't kick in as much. And when it does I can just read it again. You can't do that when talking. I don't stutter when I type. And if I forget what this person said, I can always just scroll up to the top or wherever it is and refresh the ole' noggin.

And I'm sharper online. It's like that little speck of extra time is just enough to give me that "zing" when I talk.

Plus, I'm finding out that some people will express more, tell you more online than they would in real life. It's true.

For instance. Say that I was down and someone came up to me in person and asked if I was alright. I'd be like, "Sure man. Pleased as punch". Or something gooberish like that. But online however I may actually open up and say that something was bothering. I may not say what it was, but I would at least acknowledge the fact that something was the matter.

But then again, I like to communicate with some people better in person, such as on the phone or face to face. Hmph.

Fortune Cookie

2006-03-29T15:16:00.000-06:00

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself.

Afterglow

2006-03-29T00:33:00.000-06:00

"Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window.
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses.
It's you and the roses."

~INXS

Recap

2006-03-27T00:47:00.000-06:00

So I'm still recovering from week spent in a sweet cabin in the Smokies with 15 other people.

A week chocked full of smokey goodness, late night "Afterglow" sessions, "Nature" callin, other people smoochin', quality "Three Muskateer's" time, foreign objects in foreign orafices, bewaring of pickpockets and loose women, mispronouncing Cades and Tanger, Geggity-geggity alriiight, a hand-slut, getting nasty butts out of my bed, "Hot Girls", saying "Great googly moogly girl, get off the phone", canoodling, battle of the loudest TV, catch the falling air hockey puck, snoring, farting and belching, no whining-just hike it, pancakes on a sandwich-surprisingly good, naked butts through the shower glass, watching Duke suck, Breathe-Right stripes-not to be confused with condoms, learning a hen reminds people of my brother, "yeeeaaaah boy", totally missing a road when giving directions equals 20 extra miles of winding road in the mountains, Goober burgers that still rock, learning you're going to be dating by May, BAF (British Accent Friday) being extended for a weekend, and a total lack of shaving.

Great fun awesome times.

But definitely tiring.

The lesson learned: What happens in Gatlinburg, stays in Gatlinburg.

Gone

2006-03-18T14:48:00.000-06:00

Between working, possibly some camping, packing, church, and a "job interview", I'll doubt I'll be able to bust anything out before I leave for Spring Break. So until prolly sometime in about a week or so, I'll bid you adeiu.

Greed

2006-03-15T23:12:00.000-06:00

Just because its been on my mind because the pictures before reacquainted me with how greedy I am.

Did you know that the average American family devotes a full one-fourth of its spendable income to outstanding debt? And we spend 110 percent of our disposable income trying to manage our debt. That's ridiculous. Our obsession with stuff is coming with a hefty price tag.

But not only does greed come from money but for approval, applause, status, whatever it may be. Greed for the best office, the fastest car, the prettiest date. Greed doesn't just have one face, but it speaks one language. That of more.

Greed I guess could be described as a growling stomach. You can feed it, but eventually it's going to get hungry again.

"Don't be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have." (Heb. 13:5 MSG).

I know I could learn from that. An old Japanese proverb says "Even if you sleep in a thousand mat room, you can only sleep on one mat."

That little itch for things or the ear for applause and praise can derail you in a heartbeat.

Success is not defined by position or pay scale, but by doing the most what you do the best.

"Godliness with contentment is great gain." (1st Timothy 6:6 NIV)

*Some thoughts and words taken from Max Lucado's book Cure for the Common Life

Think About It

2006-03-15T11:18:00.000-06:00

My Humps

2006-03-12T14:21:00.000-06:00

I just want to let you know that 2 million people have downloaded "My Humps" as their cellphone ringtone.

And I also want to let you know that I am so absolutely thrilled that not only does this stupid song get stuck in my head if I hear it, but now it's actually following me around.

Thanks.

Blinded (When I See You)

2006-03-10T20:40:00.000-06:00

"... I never believed that things happen for a reason and
They never go as planned.
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost,
That you returned, but you're passed
Do you understand?...

So when I see you, you know all the things I've done
Well, I'm blinded
Like staring down the sun.

Time passes and it tells us what we're left with.
We become things we do.
Me, I'm a fool, spent from definace
Yeah, you got me
I won't give up on you.

So when I see you, despite all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun.
When I see you, I'm blinded."

Centered

2006-03-05T21:39:00.000-06:00

"Do I have a God centered view of my life?"

God does not leave anything to chance. I need to embrace this idea. I need to quit worrying about things that are to be left to God's control. "Does the clay say to the potter, 'what are you making?'"

Also, do I have an image of God in my head that I think he should fit (ie old man w/ white beard) or am I letting Him show me new things about Him every day?

Read Psalm 139.--"We see what we want to see". How bad do I want to see God?

Matthew 5:8 says that the pure in heart will see God. To be pure in heart means to LOVE GOD. The pure in heart are the only ones who see God because they are the only ones who WANT to see God. If even I don't believe that my heart is very pure, then that must mean that I have something in my life right now that I want more than to see God. I must remove that object.

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12 says that there is nothing better for a person's soul than to be happy. Who knows how to make us happier than the one who created us? The ultimate happiness comes when we meet God in heaven. And we can't even begin to imagine what heaven will be like or how happy we'll be (1 corinthians 2:9).

Weekend at Work

2006-02-24T17:26:00.000-06:00

Another weekend spent at the pharmacy. Another redneck who might as well have had bathed in Jack Daniels before hand, coming in looking for some hand-outs. Oh, and before I continue, let me add that it was like 10-11 in the morning.

But, regrettably, this here little story won't have the impact of actually witnessing it in person. But I'll do my best.

So, just as a normality, when I walk up to a person, be it a clerk, salesperson, or whatever, I generally start out with a "Hello", "Hi", or something. I'm beginning to find that this little common courtesy escapes some. Anywho, this bozo comes strolling in and decided to blurt out why he was here before anything else with this little phrase, and I quote, "My butthole's on fire."

Alright, now, I'll admit that even reading this is funny, but I don't think I can describe how funny hearing this statement with the authentic southern drawl and mushed up words of a drunk actually was.

Let me just give you the phoenetics. "Mah buh-hoes own far" would be the correct pronounciation.

I unintentionally laughed in his face just because the comment was so random and caught me so off guard.

And uh... to say the least, it kinda pissed him off. Because it was at this point that his whole demeanor changed. He was no longer drunk redneck in pain, he was pissed off drunk redneck in pain.

Oops.

He then proceeded to puff up his chest like he was getting ready to throw down and said (Did I mention that I doubt he had a tooth in his head?) in even more broken English that this was no laughing matter and that if my butthole was on fire, I wouldn't want somebody to laugh in my face.

I'll have to agree with him on that.

And so I apologized.

But to make a long story short, after arguing that we were under law to give him (give being the key word here) some type of prescription pain medicine, he left with some Preparation H. pads.

Man, I love my job.

Are You Happy?

2006-02-21T13:56:00.000-06:00

What will make me happy?

I think God gave us 2 instincts, one of which is the longing for happiness. I want to be happy and I want that happiness to last forever. And I think that you can only find complete happiness in things that last forever and don't fade. God never fades.

Looking for happiness in material things is pointless. You'll keep chasing it, but never attain it.

This is a story about 4 people...

2006-02-20T14:09:00.000-06:00

...named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

Sleep to Dream

2006-02-14T16:16:00.000-06:00

"I tell you how I feel, but you don't care.
I say tell me the truth, but you don't dare.
You say love is a hell you cannot bare.
And I say gimme mine back and then go there - for all I care.

I got my feet on the ground and I don't sleep to dream.
You got your head in the clouds and you're not at all what you seem.
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways.
So don't forget what I told you, don't come around, I've got my own hell to raise.

I have never been isulted in all my life.
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride.
First you run like a fool to be by my side.
And now you run like a fool, but just to hide, and I can't abide.

Don't make it a big deal, don't be so sensitive.
We're not playing a game anymore, you don't have to be so defensive.
Don't plead your case, don't bother to explain.
Don't even show me your face, cuz it's a crying shame.
Just got back to the rock from under which you came.
And don't forget the blame."

~Fiona Apple

Head Games

2006-02-11T23:31:00.000-06:00

You know what I hate? When people don't call me back. I especially don't like it when I'm promised a call back, then not receiving one. Why waste the energy and air to tell me that you will and set me up to expect a later call if you don't plan to follow through?

Is it because you like to play some sick mind game? To quote John Lennon - "We're playing those mind games together, Pushing barriers, planting seeds". Everybody loves games. Don't get me wrong, I like to play games too, but only with people I have don't have any respect for. It's the fact that you appeared to have respect for me and took the time to socialize with me of your own accord and fooled me into a false sense of friendship.

Do you just live for attention? And the fact that I let the thought of you come into my mind gives you some sort of feeling of satifaction. By appearing to have an interest in you and wanting to spend some time with you, have I just bolstered your confidence? Or by me being interested do you become un-interested?

Well, if your confidence is so non-existent, don't let me be the one to boost it. I refuse to beg for your company. I will allow you to return to earth. I do NOT beg for the companionship of anyone. While you may think that you have planted some little seed in someone to grow into your fall-back plan, you haven't. You have, in fact, completely pissed them off.

I know your kind, and I know how to play your games. I don't play along at all. So return to being your little self-absorbed self.

I step off my soapbox now.

This little rant is very significant right at this moment in my life, it doesn't, however pertain to any certain individual. Nor is is intended to be directed at any one person. It just generally applies to my experiences, both recent and aged and just generally portrays my disgust with this sick little dance that people participate in.

The Pen is Mightier

2006-02-08T11:22:00.000-06:00

Alright before I delve into this, let me give you some background. I work at a pharmacy and have done so for 5 years now. So, to say the least I have developed kinda-sorta friendships with many of my patients. One such "friend" is a guy who has spent many years building his body and using it to become successful in a very unique way. And he actually calls me Al, rather than my real name.

Alright, so back to where I was going. I have read and I suppose been told that the pen is mightier than the sword. But I never quite thought it to be true until Monday when the aforementioned patient came in.

I was waiting on him and we have this type of friendship where we ask each other what is going on in our lives - whether it be phyiscal, emotional or spiritual. It's a rather weird relationship I have with this person to not know him that well. But to say the least we had been talking about some insurance policies that he's looking at and what type of vitamin he should take. So I asked him what type of exercises I should do to kinda bulk up a little.

And he just looked at me at laughed. Not in a condescending way, more of like a suprise laugh.

And he said in a round-about way this:

"Why do you want to bulk up? You're way too smart to be some meathead. You want to be able to kick somebody's (explecitive) huh? Then learn how to use the power of words and the use of language. And you'll be able to write your own ticket to anywhere you dream of going in your life. There is no muscle that compares to the mind and there is no weapon like that of words. I've had my (explecitive) kicked a couple of times, but nothing has embarassed me more than having someone kick my (explecitive) with their mind."

Hate.

2006-02-06T11:33:00.000-06:00

People want most what they pretend to hate.

Communication

2006-02-03T13:24:00.000-06:00

For twenty three years I've been trying
To believe and confide in
Different people I found

Some of them got closer than others
And some wouldn't even bother
And then you came around.

I didn't really know what to call you,
You didn't know me at all,
But I was happy to explain

I never really knew how I'd move you
So I tried to intrude through
The little holes in your veins

And I saw you
But thats not an invitation,
Thats all I get,
If this is communication
I disconnect...
I've seen you, I know you,
But I don't know how to connect
So I disconnect...

~The Cardigans

Politcal

2006-02-01T11:01:00.000-06:00

I was asked the other day if I was conservative, moderate, or liberal. Good question.

Al. Liberal? Conservative? What am I?

It's funny, my liberal friends think I'm conservative while my conservative friends think I'm a liberal. So let's look at the issues.

1. Abortion - I'm against it because seems like a get-out-of-jail for free card for people who don't what to take responsibility for their actions. Play adult games, get adult prices. When it comes down to any other situtaion dealing with abortion besides sex, I don't know. I have no idea how to handle that sort of a situation, so I refuse to take a stance on that. All I can say is that when a life is created, you shouldn't destroy it.

2. Gay Marriage. Against it. Its says in the Bible that homsexuality is a sin.

3. The Ban on Gay Marraige. Against it. I know, I can hear you saying "What? You just said that homosexuality is a sin." Correct I did. And it is a sin, but so is lying, hating your neighbor, stealing, and just being a douche-bag, but I don't see people trying to push bans on those through Congress. By banning gay marraige, you aren't going to stop homosexuality. If anytihng, it only widens the rift between Christian brothers and sisters and my fellow gay/homesexual brothers and sisters. And yes, I just did call them my brothers and sisters. I am to love them as I would love myself and all other Christians out there. They are sinners just like me. We are all as equally crappy in the eyes of God.

4. Hillary Clinton. She would be a terrible president.

5. George W. Bush. He is a terrible president. But ya know what? We'll live. We've always had bad presidents. Some just hide their shortcomings better or can talk their way out of situations better than others.

6. Censorship. I'll have to say that I am against censorship for adult audiences. Only because you can change the freakin channel, not buy that cd, turn the radio station, and not visit that internet site. Little kids can't. So if you corrupt my little cousin, I'll go Grand Theft Auto on you.

7. Gun Control. Guns will make us safer as much of an oxymoron as that is, it's true.

8. Capitol Punishment. I'm for it. But no more of this death row and appeal bs that seems to happen all the time. If you are sentenced to death, do it the next day. I'm sick and tired of people being on death row wasting my tax money for twentysomething years.

9. Enviornment. I'm all about helping the enviornment. I recycle. I carpool. I use my crap as fertilizer. But I'm not about to go hug a tree and be one with nature.

10. Oil/Gas. We need it. We also need to find some ways to not use as much as we do. Start digging in Alaska. I understand that its in the middle of a Wildlife park thingy, but you didn't build that freakin huge tunnel through Alaska for nothing. Use it.

So in summation, we can say one of two things: 1. I'm a moderate. 2. I will never truly identify where I stand on anything because he has too much fun pushing people's buttons.

7 Things About Me...

2006-01-27T10:10:00.000-06:00

...courtesy of the Smashing Pumpkins/Zwan

1. My favorite color is Blue

2. My favorite flavor is Cherry

3. I get Quiet when I'm mad

4. Some say I'm Adore -able

5. I doubt I'll Settle Down anytime soon

6. I'm far from Perfect

7. My life is a Destination Unknown

Peace for the weekend...

Opportunity

2006-01-26T13:48:00.000-06:00

I swear I have no tolerance for purposeful ignorance and stupidity and people that won't think for themselves.

Your life is so full of opportunity. I'm not going to feel sorry for you. I don't feel sorry for myself. Life is not always the way I'd like to have it either, but get over it. Quit crying and feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you life, and that is great place to start to make things great again.

If you don't use that potential that you have to live, then you don't deserve it. And if you don't want to use it, then sit down, shut up, and get out of my way.

Lessons Your Parents Taught You

2006-01-23T10:01:00.000-06:00

1. Your Parents spoke to you of RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. Your Parents piqued your first interest in TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

3. Your Parents proved the theory of all LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. Your Parents gave you the gift of FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, you never know if you'll get into an accident."

5. Parents were always good for teaching you IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

6. Even before biology class your parents taught you the fundamentals of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

7. They were always ready to suggest a career - even as a CONTORTIONIST.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

8. They instilled in you the importance of STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

9. You were taught that you even could control the WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. They taught you the basics principals of BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

11. Parents were the first to make you know ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

12. Your parents gave you that butterfly feeling of ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

13. They taught you what a marvelous gift it was to RECEIVE .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

14. Your parents studied MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

15. They were the first to instruct you HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

16. Your mother was likely the one skilled in GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

17. Parents got you to question your own ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

18. They were the very people that taught you WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

19. Long before you knew the laws of the world they instructed you in the ways of JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

and last but not least...

20. Your loving mother and father - long before you had seen any Disney movie - taught you THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

I am a privilege

2006-01-21T21:39:00.000-06:00

I smile because that's what I do. I smile with a big ole cheesy grin and pass off the sense of love and happiness and comfort to those around me. Yet, there is prolly a space within me where I let all the heavy stuff pile up. Some of it collects dust and others fresh by myself thumbing through them, trying to sort it all out and trying to keep hidden what is.

I am the whipping boy. I am a sponge for other's emotions. I share and give so freely, but yet I don't expect much in return. I make sacrifices for others, but what would happen when I start to make them for myself?

I refuse to be just an obligation. I refuse to be the last resort. I refuse to be the free meal. I refuse to be blown off. I refuse to be treated like crap. I am a privilege.

Run Baby Run

2006-01-20T17:43:00.000-06:00

"Love can be so strange
Don't it amaze you?
Everytime you give yourself away
It comes back to haunt you
Love's an elusive charm and it can be painful
To understand this crazy world...

Life can be so cruel
Don't it astound you?
So when nothing seems too certain or safe
Let it burn through you
You can keep it pure on the inside
And you know what you believe to be right

Find out who you are before you regret it
Cause life is so short there's no time to waste it"

~Garbage

Tank Your Reputation

2006-01-17T17:19:00.000-06:00

I am reading a new Max Lucado book called "Cure for the Common Life". Chapter 10 is entitled Tank Your Reputation.

Max says:

My teenage acquaintances included a handful of Christians, none of whom were cool. One minister's daughter passed on beer parties and gossip. As a result, she spent most lunch hours and Friday nights alone. A tennis player came back from summer break with a Bible bumper sticker on his car and a smile on his face. We called him a Jesus freak.
My voice was among the mockers. It shouldn't have been, but it was. Somewhere inside I knew better, but I didn't go there for advice. My parents took me to church. My minister told me about Christ. But did I make a big deal about God or the church? No. I had something far more important to promote. MY REPUTATION.

One can't, at once, promote two reputations. Promote God's and forget yours. Or promote yours and forget God's. We must choose.
Joseph did. Matthew describes Jesus's earthly father as a craftsman. He lives in Nazareth: a single-camel map dot on the edge of boredom. Joseph never speaks in the New Testament. He does much. He sees an angel, marries a pregnant girl, and leads his family to Bethlehem and Egypt. He does much, but says nothing. In Matt 1:19 it describes Joseph as a "just man", Envision Joseph being questioned by the city leaders. (Joseph," they say,"we understand that Mary is with child." He nods. "Is the child yours?" He shakes his head. "Do you know how she became pregnant?" GULP. A bead of sweat forms beneath Joseph's beard. He faces a dilemma. Make up a lie and preserve his place in the community, or tell the truth and kiss his reputation good-bye. He makes his decision. "Joseph....took to him his wife, and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name Jesus" (Matt. 1:24-25)
Joseph tanked his reputation. He swapped it for a pregnant fiancee and an illegitimate son and made the big decision of discipleship. He place God's plan ahead of his own.

Would you be willing to do the same? The question is "Do you care more about what God thinks or more about what the world thinks?"

GOD GRANTS US AN UNCOMMON LIFE TO THE DEGREE WE SURRENDER OUR COMMON ONE.

If you had been Joseph, would you had forfeited your reputation to see Jesus born into your world? You will get a chance to tank you reputation this week. I hope that we all choose Jesus.

Something to think about.

What are you risking?

2006-01-12T12:31:00.000-06:00

Are you risking anything for God's promises?

I was reading my devotion today and that's what came out at me. Hebrews 11:1 says "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

If I believe that Jesus died for my sins and that through Him is the only way into heaven, then what am I sacrificing to tell more people about Him? What am I doing to ensure that I understand the full implications of that?

I believe that God created everything and created me with a purpose and has everything planned out for me. But what does that mean to me?

Unwanted Longings

2006-01-07T16:22:00.000-06:00

I've noticed in the past few days that women use their period as an excuse for just about anything.

And I'm not saying its wrong. Cause I'd prolly do the same thing.

Actually, if I had a period, I could prolly do just about anything. I'd miss class and write my teacher an email saying "I'm sorry Professor, I can't come to class today cause I'm menstruating."

I'd be grumpy. Shoo. And not necessarily because of my period, but because I had a period it allowed me to be so.

I think I'd watch Lifetime. Ok, so maybe I wouldn't do that. But I'd eat a whole gallon of ice cream at one sitting. And my excuse? "I'm pmsing like no other and I need some chocolate."

I think I could prolly do just about anything if I had a period.

Good thing I don't.

Bet You Didn't Know... x 5

2006-01-01T16:54:00.000-06:00

1)I will spend an average of 25-30 hours a week selling drugs.

2) I own a guitar that I got for my birthday from a girlfriend. I still have never learned to play it well and I have eventually given up on it. So it sits in the corner of my room collecting dust with the rest of my trophies and the rest of the stuff I gave up on.

3) My biggest hero next to Jesus Christ and Bono would have to be my brother because in many respects he is what I always felt I was expected to be.

4) I have terrible memory. Most of my memories consist of times that I've screwed up or hurt somebody or something incredibly funny happened. I don't remember picking flowers out of my mom's garden for her when I was like 4 or 5. But I do remember her running over the dog with her car when I was 3.

5) I hate wearing my glasses because for some reason they always make me feel like I'm more seperated from the people around me than usual. Like I'm inside of a bubble and I'm looking through a periscope. But I wear them on days when I'm tired, that way I don't have that lazy eye thing goin on.

Grr.

2005-12-31T16:52:00.000-06:00

Why is it that in the retail business, the customers are more rude and hateful over the holiday season?

Oh, and I'm not working the next 3 holidays. This is ridiculous!

Holiday Schmoliday

2005-12-27T18:43:00.000-06:00

So I'm oh so very happy that the holidays are over. All that family time was giving me the hibbie-jibbies.

And I'm terribly sorry I've been so scattered as of late. Not enough computer time. I apologize.

But I'll be back later on this week with a vengence. Until then. Ciao.

2005-12-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

CHRISTmas

2005-12-19T20:35:00.000-06:00

Only because I'm on a stupid-people-make-me-so-mad kick did I notice that one of the bigger "churches" in town is not going to have worship on Christmas Day so that they families of that congregation can spend time with family.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Kinda missing the whole purpose of Christmas, don't ya think?

"Happy Holydays"

2005-12-16T12:24:00.000-06:00

Alright, so the whole "Happy Holidays" thing instead of "Merry Christmas" really chaps my rump. It makes absolutely no sense.

HELLO!

Happy Holidays = Happy Holy Days.

Am I the only one who sees this?

How to blog on the drive home

2005-12-14T20:21:00.000-06:00

Go With the Flow

2005-12-09T02:30:00.000-06:00

I'm in a real pensive mood tonight. Don't ask why. And I'm not really sure how I got on this topic. But I've been mulling over it a couple of days now. And between talking with family and friends and just experiencing weird circumstances this week, I'm just really tired of people all wound up over nothing. I understand that everyone's got some bruises and blemishes, baggage if you will. Whether they be physical or emotional. They're the imperfections in life.

But those bruises and blemishes make us who we are. And I wouldn't want to be different in any way. Would you? I like who I am.

Don't get me wrong, life's been a round and round, up and down thing over the past couple of years, but right now I'm a person I can love and respect. Its been a struggle, battling with one's demons, but life is a struggle.

But at some point I think you have to stop fighting the current and start to flow down the stream - all the while taking in everything. Go with the flow.

And I'm not saying give up either. I'm saying don't fight everything. Don't over-analyze everything. Just keep it simple. If I'm ever remembered for something, I hope its that.

I see people all the time, whether they be friends or co-workers or classmates or whatever that seem to be fighting something - always on the defense - always wondering why a certain thing is the way it is.

Just take in everything. It seems so simple, but yet it can be so hard.

Don't ask for more than what is delivered. Just take what you get and consider it a gift.

Set-Up

2005-12-04T16:40:00.000-06:00

Alright people, ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, community, and random yeahoos that read this, listen. And listen real good. The next person who thinks that they are going to set me up on a date is going to get cracked in the head with my big toe.

See, there are some people that say I need to date these people: a girl that I work with, a younger girl who is a friend of mine, this girl who is graduating from med school, and/or this girl who I don't know but I would be "perfect" for.

The last time I checked, I was 22 & 11/12 years old and could decide on my own of who I wanted to date and when I wanted to date. Dangit!

So, in conclusion, we will not be trying to hook Al here up with the following: co-workers, classmates, friends, doctors, pretty girls, small girls, witty girls or tall girls. I will not eat green eggs and ham, Sam I am.

A Beautiful Lie

2005-12-01T18:20:00.000-06:00

"Lie awake in your bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?

Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful
That makes me

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last
Hide behind an empty face
Don't have too much to say
'Cause this is just a game

Everyone who's lookin' at me
I'm running around in circles, angry
Acquired desperation's building high
I've got to remember this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful
That makes me"

A Beautiful Lie ~ 30 Seconds to Mars

11 Rules for the ladies...

2005-11-28T11:46:00.000-06:00

A female friend of mine was asking the other day why all of thse guys were liking her. So I started asking the general questions of how she acted around them.

Hence this list. Most of these are not mine, but they apply in all cases and are extremely true.

So here is a list of rules for the ladies when it applies to men:

1. If you don't like they guy, don't touch him. Don't hug him, don't pat his back, don't rub his head. Don't touch him. Don't even try to stop the bleeding if he gets shot. Hand-to-arm contact is the number one cause of unwanted attention from me.

2. Don't laugh at us. If we think we can make you laugh, then we think we can make you like us.

3. For the love, don't look at us and then look away. I don't care if you don't like making eye contact. If I'm scanning a room and my eyes happen to catch yours and you turn your head away or look around quickly, the first thought in my head is, "Uh oh, what do you we have here?" If your eyes happen to catch a man's eyes and you aren't interested in him, just stare him down like you would a puppy that's done something wrong.

4. Don't give us nicknames.

5. Don't dress nicely around us. If you wear sweatpants and put your hair in a messy bun when you get up for a firedrill or around the house, then wear the same when you are around us, the "signally-challenged".

6. Deep conversations with us are sometimes a stretch. But if and when they do happen, it makes us think we are bonding with you. If we think you are hot and then you make us think we're bonding on an emotional level, then the next think we going to want to do is date you.

7. Avoid games like, "20 Question" or "The Question Game" or any other game that involves somebody getting a change to ask any questions of the other person that they choose. I personally hate these games and if you get me to play then....yeah. Just remember, the difference between "Do you like meat?" and "Do you like me?" is only two letters from permanent awkwardness.

8. Don't tell us your dream man. Because then we will try and live up to that image in your head and we'll look like complete tools or idiots. You choose which.

9. Don't let us pay for stuff and take you out to eat. It gives us that feeling that we are taking care of you.

10. Don't smile at us often. Smiling=flirting. Avoid it or pay the consequences.

11. Accentuate any unflattering physical details. Glossing a pimple so that it really shines or rubbing a little Crisco into your hair will work wonders for your man repellent.

Everybody Wants You

2005-11-26T14:45:00.000-06:00

"You've been bad
You know you've been good
Did you lose your mind, like I knew you would?

Did you sing your song?
Did you sing it so loud?
Did you sing it so everyone can hear in the crowd?

Did you lose yoursel?
Did you lose your health?
Did you put my memories on the shelf?

Did you lose your place?
Did you lose your grace?
Just so everyone could see your singing face

Its like everybody loves you
And everybody wants you lately
Its like everybody needs you
And everybody sees you today

You've been sad
Your misunderstood
Did you find your kind, like i knew you would?

Did you feel your song?
Did you feel it so real?
Did you feel it so everyone could see your grand appeal?

Did you lose yourself?
Did you lose your health?
Did you put my memories on the shelf?

Did you lose your place?
Did you lose your grace just so everyone could see your singing face?

Its like everybody loves you
And everybody wants you lately
Its like everybody needs you
And everybody sees you today"

~Josh Kelley

Juicy Squirt

2005-11-25T20:13:00.000-06:00

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

Itinerary for the next couple of hours

2005-11-24T20:08:00.000-06:00

1. Take a shower at 11 pm
2. Make out a tenative shopping list
3. Set alarm clock from some ungodly hour
4. Have shoulder pads and helmet ready
5. Brave the crowds of lunatics without screaming obscenities, making ugly faces and howling kids, running people with my car or shopping cart, not cursing while waiting in the mile long traffic or at the cash register, or flipping the bird in traffic, or having to call home from jail.
6. Spending the next 10 hours selling drugs to sick people

Thanksgiving is on the way...

2005-11-21T12:43:00.000-06:00

I was at work, of course, it's where I spend half my life. Anywho, I was out of the pharmacy, wonderin around, taking the trash back, something, I don't know.

So I'm a walkin, with my stupid little schmock on and I see a lady picking through the frozen turkeys. She obviously couldn't find one she liked because she hadn't put one in her cart and the question that she asked me,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

I just said, and from where it came from, I have no idea, but I wish I was in this place more often,

"No ma'am, they're dead."

A Night at the Movies

2005-11-20T13:14:00.000-06:00

Have you ever sat through so many movie previews that you forget which movie you went to see? Sometimes the previews are so good that I'm disappointed when the actual movie starts.

Now I know why the movies in the previews are always at least three months away: to keep me from getting up and switching theaters on the spot. Also, to make sure I won't remember the previews that were so bad I promised NEVER to see the movie.

The new Harry Potter movie is good by the way. Oh, and veal is a calf.

Indie Kids

2005-11-16T13:09:00.000-06:00

Q: How many indie kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: You don't know?

Upadatin and Women

2005-11-14T11:42:00.000-06:00

Yeah, yeah, I know I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy. I do have a life outside of this thing! Yeah, so what if it mainly consists of school and work. It's a life!

So, yeah, I was thinking the other why I don't understand women. It's a normal thought process that happens throughout the day. This day, however, I was working with 3 women which made me think this even more.

They were looking at clothes online and complimenting each others shoes and make-up and such and I was doing my best to ignore them.

But it got me thinking. Women will pour hot wax on their legs and wherever else that is none of my business and place a strip thingy on there and then proceed to pull hair out by the root. Repeatedly. Ouch.

And then that same woman will freak out when she sees a spider.

Reason # 191 of why I don't understand women.

Fight Song

2005-11-07T13:45:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it starts as a silent curse
Sometimes it doesn’t waste time
You still think I look upon this with hatred in my mind
I won’t lie
It took some time

But I know one thing!
It takes me away from
All the things love gave me!
So I had to let things go!

I can go another round.

I’m still healing
No I’m not reeling
Yes I’m feeling
This is my fight song

Now I’m left with a scare to reverse.
Yes another burden to fight
I guess I made it this far so I know things will be alright
I won’t lie
I will survive

I’m still healing
No I’m not reeling
Yes I’m feeling
This is my fight song

But I know one thing!
It takes me away from
All the things love gave me!
So I had to let things go!
It’s so hard to forget
But I must let go...and begin
To live again
But not give in
I figured out
I will land on solid ground

~Scott Stapp

K-fed

2005-11-02T12:18:00.000-06:00

Alright, so Kevin Federline, Britney Spear's white-trash husband, has been recording some music. And according to his wife, he has "flow". Well, thanks to Al Gore's invention called the internet, his first single has been "leaked". Listen Here

But see, the thing is, when Britney first heard it, she laughed. If Britney thinking your music sucks doesn't make you think...

And I swear that if this crap because popular, I'm droppin out and starting a band.

K-fed. You're right buddy, I ain't ready.

27 Facts...

2005-11-01T15:45:00.000-06:00

that Most People Don’t Know

27. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

26. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.

25. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

24. Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won't be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after such a large amount. (Duh)

23. Uncle Phil, from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, did the voice of Shredder in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

22. Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.

21. The US national anthem actually has three verses, but everyone just knows the first one.

20. During World War II, IBM built the computers the Nazis used to manage their death/concentration camps.

19. The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.

18. The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led by a man who thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ.

17. Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of people every second. Almost 10 people more live on this Earth now, than before you finished reading this.

16. Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.

15. The number of people alive on earth right now is higher than the number of all the people that have died. Ever.

14. The average American consumes 1.2 pounds of spider eggs a year and eat 2.5 pounds of insect parts a year.

13. The Kamp Krusty episode of the Simpson’s was originally meant to be made as the Simpsons movie.

12. Men can breastfeed babies.

11. There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which you\'ve probably never heard of.

10. Scientists have determined that fungi are more closely related to human beings and animals than to other plants.

9. In some (maybe all) Asian countries, the family name is written first and the individual name written second (opposite of the America method). That\'s why Asian athletes like Yao Ming and Ichiro Suzuki have Yao and Ichiro written on their jerseys. Those are their family names and in America their names are written Ming Yao and Suzuki Ichiro.

8. Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860.

7. A German World War II submarine was sunk due to malfunction of the toilet.

6. Washington State has the longest single beach in the United States. Long Beach, WA.

5. The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.

4. The town of Los Angeles, California, was originally named El Pueblo la Nuestra Senora de Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula.

3. 9 out of 10 people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. This isn’t true; Joseph Swan did.

2. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

1. The Population of the world can live within the state boundaries of Texas.

Stupid Dream

2005-10-29T11:13:00.000-05:00

I had a dream last night.

One of those dreams thats so real that it took me a minute to figure out where I was and that it had been a dream after I woke up.

But see, the question is, do I want this dream to happen, and if I do, do I tell anybody that way I don't jinx it?

But, since it was a dream, is it more likely to not happen?

Eh, who knows. But no more late night Special -K bars for Al.

Destination (Unknown)

2005-10-26T12:17:00.000-05:00

Life is so strange
When you don't know
How can you tell
Where you're going to
You can't be sure
Of any situation
Something can change
Then you won't know

You ask yourself
Where do we go from here
This seems so altered here
Just as far beyond as I can see
I still don't know what this all means to me

I have nowhere to go
I don't know what to do
And I don't even know the time of day
I guess it doesn't matter anyway

Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something can change
It's unknown
Then you won't know
Destination unknown

When will my time come
Has it all been said and done
I know I'll leave when it's my time to go
Till then I carry on with what I know

Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something can change
It's unknown
Then you won't know
Destination unknown

~Smashing Pumpkins

Ugh

2005-10-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I'm sitting here in the computer lab and I've got to take a dump. Yeah, thats right. I said it. Well, if you know me, which most of you do, I don't dump in public. I'm sorry, I don't care where I am, but I will drive all the way home to dump. That's just how I am.

But needless to say, I didn't have time to drive home today. So I relunctantly headed to the public restroom. Ugh.

Now, I said all of this to tie into my story. When dumping, there's not much worse than a cold toilet seat. Actually, I can only think of one other thing, and it happened to me today.

You know what's worse than a cold toilet seat?

A warm one.

At first when you seat down, you're relieved its warm until the realization hits you that there is only one way that it could have gotten warm - by another person's butt-warmth.